Phil: So if a child is really, really struggling and then they’re starting to either show extreme lack of self confidence or self self esteem or a lot of negative behaviors, should a parent back off of the academics at that point and until something is resolved, I see a lot of kids that just get pushed harder into more academics when that may not when that may be causing some more problems.
Merriam: Yeah, I am a big proponent in the parental backing off, especially when the children are in elementary school and even up to eighth grade provided your you’re not trying to get your child into our private school because no one is ever going to see those grades. The grades don’t matter at all. But what really does matter is that your child isn’t learning how to learn, has a joy for learning and feels is that learning is something they can accomplish. And if you are, you know, having to sit down with your child and strong arm them into getting their homework done, then wouldn’t it be better to figure out what’s the underlying issue here? How can we tackle that? Give the child the support they need so that they will have the possibility of being more successful later in their academic career. continuing to ask of them what’s asked of a neurotypical learner or a learner without a learning disability. as if there’s, you know, they have no struggle is just frustrating for them. And who would want to continue doing that? I wouldn’t, I would shut down.
Phil: Sure, sure.
Merriam: The other piece that’s important to remember too, especially early on, is that if, if you at home or having to help your child that much where you have to sit next to them and essentially, you know, do their homework for or with them to the degree that they can do it independently, then you’re robbing the school, of the opportunity to understand what’s going on with this child because all the teachers sees is , something unusual is happening in my class, but gosh, this child manages is to get their homework done perfectly well and all the answers are correct. And that parent gets upset because the school won’t give them the help that they feel they need. So I often will consult with parents and say, I know this is going to be difficult, but you need to let your child fail right now.
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