You sit at a small table across from four or five school staff. Someone says, “We don’t offer that here.” The room goes quiet, and the meeting moves on. You walk out with a folder and a knot in your stomach. You are not overreacting. You are not the only parent who has felt this. Nobody will ever advocate for your child as hard as you will.
Common questions from parents
Is “we don’t offer that here” a reason to leave a service out of my child’s IEP?
Does the school get to make me wait before I get an independent evaluation?
Does the IEP team have to do what I ask?
Do I need a diagnosis before I ask for an evaluation?
Heard "We don't offer that here" at an IEP meeting? Parents are on the IEP team by law. Ask which needs the plan covers, and ask for the answer in writing.
What this infographic says, in plain words
This infographic is about two lines parents hear at IEP meetings. An IEP is the written plan for a child who gets special education. Both lines sound like rules. Both deserve a second question. Here is what the image covers, checked against the US federal rules.
- Red flag one: “We don’t offer that here.” It sounds final. Your child’s plan is meant to start from your child’s needs.
- Red flag two: “We know you want an independent evaluation, but we have the right to do it first.” Part of this is true. Part of it leaves you out. The third section below sorts out which is which.
- Why these lines work: Official words feel binding. Parents start to feel they have no say.
- What to do: Notice the lines. Ask for the help your child needs. Know when an outside evaluation is an option.
The image ends on hope, and so do we. Skills that look hard today are skills a child builds with teaching and practice. Your job is to make sure that teaching is in the plan.
A calm question is not a fight. “Would you put that in writing?” is a fair thing to ask.
Laura Lurns · Learning Success expert
When you hear “We don’t offer that here”
Under US federal special education law (IDEA), parents are members of the IEP team. That is written into the rules themselves (34 CFR 300.321). You are not a guest at the meeting. You are allowed to bring someone who knows your child. You decide if that person has the knowledge to help (34 CFR 300.321). The team must consider four things when it writes the plan. One of them is your concerns (34 CFR 300.324). These are the federal rules as of October 2026. Your state’s rules sit on top of them.
The rules define special education as instruction built for your child’s unique needs (34 CFR 300.39). That definition is about your child. It says nothing about what one school has on hand. So a calm question is fair. Try one of these:
- “Which of my child’s needs does this plan cover? Which does it leave out?”
- “Would you write down what you said, and why?”
- “Who else could provide this?”
Here is one honest limit. Considering your concerns is not the same as agreeing to them. The team must weigh what you say. It does not have to do everything you ask. That is why written answers help. They show you exactly where you stand. One family’s story of speaking up is here: Pushing the School for Answers Isn’t Aggressive. It’s Advocacy.
Key takeaways
- You are on the team: Federal rules name parents as members of the IEP team.
- Needs come first: The plan is meant to start from your child's needs, not from what a school has.
- Know the evaluation rule: A publicly paid outside evaluation follows a school evaluation you disagree with.
When you hear “We have the right to do it first”
This line is partly true, and the true part matters. Under IDEA, you have a right to an outside evaluation. The district pays for it. That right starts when you disagree with an evaluation the district did (34 CFR 300.502). So the paid outside evaluation comes after the school’s own. Here is what the line leaves out.
- Once you disagree, the district must act without unnecessary delay. It pays for the outside evaluation. Or it asks for a hearing to defend its own.
- If the hearing backs the school, an outside evaluation is still your right. You pay for it yourself.
- The district is allowed to ask why you disagree. It is not allowed to require an answer.
- You get one paid outside evaluation for each school evaluation you disagree with.
- You are free to pay for a private evaluation yourself. If you share it, the school must consider it. That holds if it meets the district’s rules for evaluations.
Considering is not agreeing here either. But your evaluation goes on the table. Want to put a request in writing? These letter templates for parents give you plain words. The full rules are set out step by step in Parent Rights Under IDEA.
“A parent has the right to an independent educational evaluation at public expense if the parent disagrees with an evaluation obtained by the public agency.” (US Department of Education, IDEA regulations, 34 CFR 300.502(b)(1))
You are not a guest at your child’s IEP meeting. You are on the team.
Laura Lurns · Learning Success expert
You do not need anyone’s permission to ask about your own child. The old habit is a meeting where the plan arrives finished. You saw it first. Trust that. The free Learning Difficulties Analysis asks what you see at home. It is a starting point, not a diagnosis. Start the free Learning Difficulties Analysis.
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Why we use AI, plainly: it writes from a knowledge base our team maintains and audits. We work through it line by line and pull anything the evidence stops supporting. The roadmap you get on Tuesday reflects what we corrected on Monday, and a human still reads it before you do.
Your school district must evaluate your child free of charge if you ask in writing, whatever your income and whatever the outcome (US, 34 CFR 300.111 and 300.301(b)). That route takes time and answers a different question than you do. This one starts today, from what you already know.
Your answers stay yours. We do not sell your personal information, and we do not hand identifiable assessment data to outside AI companies to train their models.
A screener is a starting point, not a diagnosis. If your child might need formal accommodations (an IEP or 504 plan), or you suspect a vision, hearing or medical cause, pursue a professional evaluation too. That is the only route to those supports.
References
- US Department of Education. IDEA regulations, 34 CFR 300.39 (special education).
- US Department of Education. IDEA regulations, 34 CFR 300.321 (IEP Team) and 300.324 (development, review and revision of the IEP).
- US Department of Education. IDEA regulations, 34 CFR 300.301(b) (parent request for an initial evaluation) and 300.502 (independent educational evaluation).
