It is ten to eight, and you have said “shoes” three times. Your child is at the window in one sock. They know the routine, because you did it together yesterday. You are not alone in this, and you are not doing it wrong. Your child isn’t broken, their brain is learning differently.
Common questions from parents
Why does my child forget steps we do every single day?
Should a morning chart use pictures or words?
What do I do when my child stops in the middle of the routine?
Do I need stickers or rewards with the chart?
Calling out every step each morning? Post the routine on the wall, in the same order every day. Point instead of repeating. Let the chart remember.
What does this infographic say, in plain words?
The infographic is called The Morning Routine That Remembers For Them. It makes one big point. Put the morning steps on the wall, not in your child’s head. It has four parts.
- What this is. The same short list of steps, in the same order, every day. It hangs on the wall, in plain sight.
- What matters most. With a fixed order, nobody has to decide what comes next. Start with a warm hello. Let your child pick one small goal.
- Why it fits a child who learns differently. When your child loses the thread, the chart shows the next step. You do not have to say it again.
- What parents do. Post the steps at your child’s eye level. Keep the order the same each morning.
The sample chart has five steps. Brush teeth, get dressed, eat breakfast, pack bag, shoes on.
Two lines need a note. The image says the routine taxes a child’s working memory. Holding the order in mind is one of several jobs, not the whole story. The image also says a warm start lowers “cognitive stress.” We found no source for that in our research library. So we keep the warm start and drop the claim.
Let the routine do the remembering. Your voice is for good morning, not for “shoes.”
Laura Lurns · Learning Success expert
Why does getting ready fall apart?
“Get ready” sounds like one job. It is five or six jobs in a row. Your child has to remember what comes next. Then they have to do it. Then they have to remember the step after that. And the cat walks by, and a sister starts talking.
So the order ends up living in your voice. You call out each step, one at a time. Each call is one more reminder. Some mornings, it turns into a fight.
Perhaps a teacher or a relative has called your child lazy. To us, a child who stalls at the sink does not look lazy. It looks like a child doing many jobs at once. Remembering the order is one of them.
Planning, starting and keeping track are part of what people call executive function. Here is executive function in plain English.
Key takeaways
- Put it on the wall: The chart holds the order, so neither of you has to.
- Point, don't repeat: When your child stalls, point to the next step and wait.
- Warm start, own goal: Say hello first, then let your child choose one small goal.
How do I set up a morning chart that works?
Here is how we would set it up.
- Keep it short. Five or six steps is plenty. Use pictures, words, or both.
- Hang it low. Put it at your child’s eye level, near where the steps happen.
- Same order, every day. Do not change the steps from one morning to the next.
- Start warm. Say good morning and give a hug before any instruction.
- Let your child pick one goal. It might be “dressed before breakfast.” Make it theirs.
- Point, don’t repeat. When your child stalls, point to the chart. Ask, “What’s next?” Let them find it.
Let your child check off each step as it is done. A federal practice guide for parents and teachers lists this kind of support. It names giving children chances to make decisions and check their own behavior. It is advice, not a tested program (Rosanbalm and Murray, 2017).
The same idea works after school. Here is how to put the homework routine on the wall.
A 2005 review looked at self-monitoring for children with ADHD. Children were taught to check and record their own work or behavior. The review reported gains in time on task. It also reported gains in how much work got done, and how accurately. These studies took place at school, run by teachers or researchers. Our research library holds no study of a parent’s chart at home. – Reid, Trout and Schartz, 2005
A child who stalls at the sink is doing many jobs at once. Remembering the order is one of them.
Laura Lurns · Learning Success expert
You don’t need a credential to be your child’s first teacher. You already are one. The old way runs mornings on reminders, then blames the child who misses one. You saw it first. Trust that. Next, get our free PDF guide to building focus at home: Focus Foundations.
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References
- Reid, R., Trout, A. L., & Schartz, M. (2005). Self-regulation interventions for children with attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder. Exceptional Children.
- Rosanbalm, K. D., & Murray, D. W. (2017). Caregiver co-regulation across development: A practice brief (OPRE Brief #2017-80). Office of Planning, Research, and Evaluation, Administration for Children and Families, U.S. Department of Health and Human Services.
