Asking “What” and “How” Questions Can Reduce Defensiveness and Encourage Problem-Solving
When engaging with your child, especially during moments of tension or disagreement, it’s crucial to choose your words wisely. Asking “why” questions can often lead to defensiveness, making your child feel accused or pressured to justify their actions. Instead, shift to “what” and “how” questions. For example, instead of asking, “Why did you make that choice?” you might ask, “What about this decision was important to you?” This approach invites your child to reflect on their choices without feeling attacked, fostering a more open and constructive dialogue.