Asking “What” and “How” Questions Can Reduce Defensiveness and Encourage Problem-Solving
When engaging with your child, especially during moments of tension or disagreement, it’s crucial to choose your words wisely. Asking “why” questions can often lead to defensiveness, making your child feel accused or pressured to justify their actions. Instead, shift to “what” and “how” questions. For example, instead of asking, “Why did you make that choice?” you might ask, “What about this decision was important to you?” This approach invites your child to reflect on their choices without feeling attacked, fostering a more open and constructive dialogue.

Empowering Your Child Through Strategic Questioning
As a parent, navigating the complexities of your child’s cognitive attention issues can feel overwhelming. It’s natural to seek clarity and control, especially when traditional schooling systems may not fully address your child’s unique needs. However, you have the power to make a significant difference by employing strategic communication techniques at home. By asking the right questions and fostering a supportive environment, you can help your child overcome their challenges and thrive.
Learning From Expert Negotiation Techniques to Improve Family Communication
Chris Voss, a former FBI negotiator and author of “Never Split the Difference,” emphasizes the importance of asking questions that prompt problem-solving. This technique is particularly useful in high-stakes situations, such as negotiations with hostage-takers, but it can also be applied at home. By continuously asking questions that require your child to consider their problems, you keep the lines of communication open and gather valuable insights into their thought processes. This method can transform confrontational moments into opportunities for growth and understanding.
When my kid is like giving me a lot of attitude or defending his position… I have to stop and think if I’m actually going to get a real answer here.
"
The Impact of Hormones on Adolescent Behavior and the Need for Patience and Understanding
Teenagers often experience intense hormonal changes that can affect their behavior and decision-making. It’s common for parents to feel frustrated when their child seems to be acting out or making poor choices. However, recognizing that these behaviors may be influenced by biological factors can help you approach your child with more patience and empathy. Instead of reacting with frustration or judgment, take a moment to consider the underlying causes of their actions and respond with questions that encourage them to explore their motivations.
Key Takeaways:
Asking 'What' and 'How' Questions: Description: When engaging with children who have learning challenges, parents should focus on asking 'what' and 'how' questions instead of 'why' questions. This approach helps avoid triggering defensiveness and encourages children to think critically about their choices and feelings. For instance, asking "What about this task is difficult for you?" can lead to more productive conversations and help children articulate their challenges and needs more effectively.
Maintaining Agency and Control: Description: It's important for parents to help their children maintain a sense of agency and control over their learning environment. By framing questions that invite children to solve problems or consider different scenarios, parents can empower their children to take active roles in their education. This can be particularly beneficial for children with learning challenges, as it fosters a sense of responsibility and capability.
Understanding the Neuroscience of Decision-Making: Description: Parents should be aware of how the brain's response to stress and decision-making can impact a child's learning process. Recognizing that avoidance or perceived laziness might be a response to feeling overwhelmed can help parents address the root causes of these behaviors. By asking questions that help children break down their feelings and actions, parents can assist them in overcoming barriers to learning and completing tasks.
Utilizing Neuroplasticity to Help Your Child Overcome Cognitive Challenges
Understanding the concept of Neuroplasticity can be a game-changer for parents. Neuroplasticity refers to the brain’s ability to reorganize itself by forming new neural connections throughout life. By engaging your child in activities that stimulate their brain and encourage Problem Solving Skills, you can help them build resilience and adaptability. Encourage them to tackle puzzles, engage in creative projects, or participate in sports that require strategic thinking. These activities not only strengthen their cognitive abilities but also reinforce the belief that they can overcome their challenges.
If I ask you what about this scenario… then all of a sudden I’ve gained control again.
"Overcoming the Challenge of Cognitive Attention Disorders for a Brighter Future
One of the most significant challenges mentioned in the transcript is the impact of cognitive attention disorders on daily life. These disorders can lead to feelings of overwhelm and avoidance, which can spiral into a cycle of inaction and perceived laziness. As a parent, your role is pivotal in breaking this cycle. By consistently applying the principles of Neuroplasticity and fostering Problem Solving Skills, you can help your child regain a sense of agency and control. Encourage them to face their challenges head-on, one step at a time, and celebrate their progress. Your dedication and support can pave the way for a more confident and capable future for your child.
Empower your child to overcome learning challenges with the Brain Bloom System. Visit https://learningsuccess.ai/brain-bloom/ to help them regain control and thrive.

