The Many Faces of Bullying: Understanding Types, Impacts, and Prevention
Last updated:
Your son comes home from school and quietly slips into his room, his usual enthusiasm noticeably absent. When you peek in, you find him staring blankly at his phone, shoulders slumped. For the third time this week, he’s “not hungry” for dinner. As a parent, your instincts sound an alarm—something isn’t right. Could he be experiencing bullying? The thought alone creates a knot in your stomach, a mixture of worry, confusion, and that fierce protective instinct every parent knows. You want to help, but where do you even begin in today’s complex social landscape, where bullying has evolved far beyond the playground confrontations we remember from our own childhoods?
What Is Bullying?
Bullying is not just “kids being kids” or a normal rite of passage. According to the Centers for Disease Control and the Department of Education, bullying involves three essential elements: unwanted aggressive behavior, a power imbalance (real or perceived), and repetition or the potential for repetition. This power imbalance is particularly significant, as it creates a dynamic where victims feel unable to defend themselves.
As a child psychologist who has worked with countless families, I’ve seen how this seemingly simple definition has profound implications. The power imbalance might come from physical strength, social status, or even access to embarrassing information—all creating vulnerability in different ways.
The Different Types of Bullying
Physical Bullying
Physical bullying is what many parents first envision when they hear the term “bullying.” It includes hitting, kicking, shoving, spitting, stealing, or damaging property. This form is more common among boys, with research showing that about 6% of male students report being physically bullied compared to 3.7% of female students (PACER Center).
Physical bullying often leaves visible evidence—bruises, torn clothing, broken possessions—making it more likely to be noticed by adults. However, many children hide these signs out of fear or shame. As parents, checking for unexplained injuries or missing belongings can be important warning signs.
Verbal Bullying
Words can wound deeply. Verbal bullying includes name-calling, derogatory labels, mocking, insults, threats, racist comments, and sexual harassment. Over half of adolescents (53.6%) report experiencing verbal bullying at least once in a two-month period (National Institutes of Health).
The particular cruelty of verbal bullying is that it targets a child’s self-esteem and identity at a time when they’re still developing a sense of self. Unlike physical bullying, verbal attacks leave no visible marks but can cause lasting psychological harm.
Social/Relational Bullying
Think of the movie “Mean Girls”—social bullying involves manipulating group dynamics to harm someone’s reputation and relationships. This includes excluding others from groups, spreading rumors, damaging reputations, and encouraging others to reject the victim.
This type is particularly prevalent among girls, with studies showing that 16.6% of females reported being subjects of rumors compared to 9.7% of males, and 4.9% of females reported being purposely excluded from activities compared to 2.6% of males (PACER Center).
As an occupational therapist who works with children struggling with social skills, I often use the metaphor of “social allergies”—some children seem to have heightened reactions to social rejection. For them, exclusion activates the same neural pathways as physical pain, making social bullying particularly harmful to developing adolescents.
Cyberbullying
The digital playground has created new territories for bullying behaviors. Cyberbullying includes sending hurtful messages, posting embarrassing photos, spreading rumors online, creating fake profiles, excluding individuals from online groups, and sharing private information.
Nearly half of U.S. teens (46%) report experiencing cyberbullying, with the most common types being called offensive names (32%), having false rumors spread about them (22%), and receiving unwanted explicit images (17%) (Pew Research Center).
What makes cyberbullying uniquely harmful:
It follows children home—there’s no safe haven
Bullies can hide behind anonymity
Humiliating content can spread rapidly to large audiences
Digital content can be nearly impossible to completely remove
It often happens outside adult supervision
As a parenting coach, I often tell families that digital access requires digital responsibility. Just as you wouldn’t hand car keys to a child without driving lessons, digital devices require ongoing guidance and oversight.
Identity-Based Bullying
Some of the most damaging bullying targets aspects of a child’s identity. This includes:
Racial Bullying: Targeting based on racial or ethnic background
Religious Bullying: Mocking religious beliefs, practices, or symbols
Sexual Bullying: Unwanted sexual comments, rumors, or pressure
Disability Bullying: Excluding or mocking those with disabilities
The statistics are troubling: teenagers with developmental disabilities (44.4%) are significantly more likely to be bullied than those without (31.3%), and LGBTQ+ youth face dramatically higher rates (47.1%) compared to their peers (30.0%) (CDC).
As special educators know, helping children develop pride in their identities can serve as a protective factor against this type of bullying.
While any child can experience bullying, certain groups face higher risks:
LGBTQ+ Youth: Nearly half of LGBTQ+ teenagers report being bullied
Children with Disabilities: 44.4% experience bullying compared to 31.3% of other children
Youth with Weight Concerns: Children perceived as overweight often face increased targeting
Middle School Students: Bullying peaks during middle school years (38.4% of youth ages 12-14 compared to 29.7% of teens ages 15-17)
Recent data shows bullying affects approximately one-third of teenagers, with girls reporting higher rates (38.3%) than boys (29.9%) (U.S. News & World Report).
Psychological Impact: Why Bullying Matters
The consequences of bullying extend far beyond momentary distress:
Immediate Effects
Anxiety and depression
Social withdrawal
Academic difficulties
Physical symptoms like headaches, stomach pain, and sleep problems
Long-Term Consequences
Meta-analyses of longitudinal studies show that bullying victimization is associated with:
Increased risk of depression and anxiety disorders
Higher rates of suicidal thoughts and attempts
Physical health problems due to chronic stress
Relationship difficulties that persist into adulthood
As a child psychologist, I often explain to parents that bullying isn’t just “character building”—it’s a significant adverse childhood experience that can shape brain development. Research now supports a causal relationship between bullying and health outcomes, based on biological plausibility, temporal relationships, and dose-response patterns.
Perhaps most alarming is that these consequences extend beyond victims. Children who bully others are at increased risk for “criminal behavior, delinquency, violence, substance abuse, depression, self-harm, suicide and life-long health problems” (Positive Action). Those who both bully and are bullied often show the most severe psychological difficulties.
Author Quote"
Words can wound deeply. Verbal bullying includes name-calling, derogatory labels, mocking, insults, threats, racist comments, and sexual harassment.
"
What Parents Can Do
As a preschool teacher who has witnessed the early signs of bullying behaviors, and as a parenting coach who has helped families navigate these challenges, here are concrete steps parents can take:
If Your Child Is Being Bullied:
Listen without judgment: Create a safe space for your child to share their experiences. Avoid immediate reactions like “just ignore it” or “stand up for yourself,” which can feel dismissive.
Document incidents: Keep a record of what happened, when, where, who was involved, and who witnessed it. This documentation is invaluable when approaching school officials.
Teach response strategies: Role-play assertive (not aggressive) responses. Practice phrases like “Stop, that’s not okay” in a firm, clear voice.
Build resilience: Help your child maintain friendships with supportive peers. One good friend can be a powerful buffer against bullying’s psychological impact.
Work with the school: Meet with teachers and administrators. Ask about the school’s bullying policy and how it will be enforced. Follow up to ensure action is taken.
Consider outside support: If bullying is severe or persistent, consider professional counseling to help your child process the experience and develop coping skills.
Monitor digital activity: For cyberbullying, save screenshots as evidence. Teach your child to block bullies and report inappropriate content.
If Your Child Is Bullying Others:
Address the behavior directly: Make it clear that bullying is unacceptable, while emphasizing that you love them but not the behavior.
Explore underlying causes: Bullying often stems from the child’s own struggles. Are they experiencing stress, witnessing aggression at home, or lacking empathy skills?
Teach empathy: Help your child understand the impact of their actions. Books, films, and guided discussions can help develop perspective-taking skills.
Establish consequences: Create clear, consistent consequences that relate to the behavior rather than being purely punitive.
Model respectful behavior: Children learn by watching. Examine how conflicts and differences are handled in your home.
Seek professional help: Persistent bullying behavior may indicate deeper emotional or behavioral issues that benefit from professional intervention.
For All Parents:
Start early: Teach empathy, kindness, and conflict resolution from preschool age. Young children can understand the concept of fairness and how actions affect others.
Monitor digital activities: Set clear guidelines for technology use. Consider tools that allow oversight while respecting appropriate privacy as children mature.
Encourage reporting: Teach the difference between “tattling” to get someone in trouble and “reporting” to keep someone safe.
Build digital citizenship: Specifically address online behavior, teaching children that digital words and actions have real impact.
Stay involved: Know your child’s friends, observe group dynamics, and maintain open communication about social experiences.
Key Takeaways:
1
Bullying takes many forms—physical, verbal, social, and cyberbullying—with each type causing distinct psychological harm that can persist into adulthood.
2
Certain groups face higher bullying risks, including LGBTQ+ youth (47.1%), children with disabilities (44.4%), and middle school students, with girls reporting higher overall rates than boys.
3
Effective responses require collaboration between parents, schools, and communities, with strategies ranging from teaching empathy and digital citizenship to implementing clear anti-bullying policies.
Clear anti-bullying policies with consistent enforcement
Regular staff training on recognizing and addressing bullying
Social-emotional learning integrated into curriculum
Bystander intervention training for students
Physical environment monitoring (identifying “hot spots” where bullying occurs)
Regular assessment of school climate
The most successful programs engage entire school communities—including students, staff, parents, and administrators—to create cultures of respect and inclusion.
Looking Forward
As technology evolves, so too will bullying behaviors. Emerging concerns include:
AI and deepfake technology creating sophisticated forms of harassment
Virtual and augmented reality environments presenting new contexts for bullying
Balancing digital monitoring with appropriate privacy for developing adolescents
Parents today face challenges previous generations never imagined. Yet the fundamentals remain the same: children need caring adults who set clear boundaries, model respectful behavior, and create safe spaces to discuss difficult experiences.
Bullying is not an inevitable part of growing up—it’s a serious issue with potentially lifelong consequences. But with awareness, early intervention, and collaborative efforts between families and schools, we can create safer environments for all children to thrive.
As parents, we cannot control every aspect of our children’s social worlds, but we can equip them with the skills, support, and confidence to navigate challenges. In doing so, we help shape not just their present experiences, but their future capacity for healthy relationships and emotional resilience.
Author Quote"
Digital access requires digital responsibility. Just as you wouldn’t hand car keys to a child without driving lessons, digital devices require ongoing guidance and oversight.
"
The battle against bullying isn’t just about protecting our own children—it’s about the kind of world we want them to inherit. As parents, we are the frontline defenders of our children’s emotional well-being, but we’re also their first and most influential teachers. By refusing to accept bullying as inevitable, by teaching empathy and upstanding behavior from the earliest ages, and by advocating fiercely within our schools and communities, we can gradually shift the culture. Our children are watching how we respond—not just to their own experiences, but to the challenging social dynamics around them. In standing up against bullying in all its forms, we teach the most powerful lesson of all: that kindness is not weakness, that every child deserves dignity, and that building a more compassionate world begins right here, right now, with us.
Is Your Child Struggling in School?
Get Your FREE Personalized Learning Roadmap
Comprehensive assessment + instant access to research-backed strategies
