Gamify it, and promise yourself a treat when the hard part is done. That advice is everywhere, and for a dull chore it has some backing. Work you want to care about is different. There, the same trick tends to drain the wanting out of it. If your reward plan worked for a week, then fizzled, you are not alone.
Common questions from parents
Is it bad to reward myself for doing a task?
Why did my reward plan stop working after a few days?
What should I do instead of bribing myself to start?
Does this apply to adults with ADHD?
Promising yourself a treat for starting? For work you care about, that deal tends to drain the wanting. Here is what to try instead.
Why does a promised treat drain the wanting?
Psychologists have a name for this. They call it the overjustification effect. In 1999, Deci, Koestner and Ryan reviewed the reward experiments on it. They asked what happens when people get a set prize for a task. The pattern pointed one way. When the prize was tied to doing the task, something slipped. People’s own wish to do it tended to fade. It showed up most for tasks people already valued.
Here is how that looks at a desk. You like to write, so you promise yourself a cookie per page. Now the page stands between you and the cookie. Or say you run for fun. Then you buy yourself a new gadget for every run. Now each run is a deal. Our reading is that you slowly learn to want the treat more. The work, or the run, comes second. The popular advice to gamify everything skips this part.
Two honest limits come with it. These studies gave rewards from someone else. Most were run with children and college students. Nobody in them was bribing themselves. The ones we hold were not about ADHD, either. Our view is that the same pull works when you hand yourself the prize. Want more on the two kinds of motivation? See Intrinsic vs Extrinsic Motivation, Honestly.
Tie a prize to work you love, and the prize tends to matter more.
Laura Lurns · Learning Success expert
When does a reward help you get started?
Not every reward backfires, and this part matters. Cameron, Pierce and Eisenberger argued the harm is narrower than the popular story. On a few points, both sides of that debate agree.
- Praise in words did not wear down people’s own drive.
- A reward nobody saw coming did not wear it down either.
- On a dull task nobody cared about, a reward helped people start.
So the honest rule is narrow. A set prize for a chore you dread is a fair tool. Coffee after you sort the mail is fine. Taxes, dishes and a messy inbox often fit here. The trouble starts when you tie a prize to work you want to love. One quick test helps. Would you ever do this task with no prize and nobody watching? If the answer is never, a reward is a fair push. If you want to love it someday, keep the prize out of the deal. That is where the gamify-everything advice goes wrong. It treats every task like a dull one.
Sticker charts for kids run on the same idea. See this infographic on star charts and the drive to learn. Maybe your stall is more about waiting for the deadline. Then read our piece on the ADHD perfectionism loop.
Key takeaways
- The prize takes over: A set reward for work you value tends to drain your wish to do it.
- Not every reward backfires: Praise and surprise rewards did no harm. Rewards helped people start dull chores.
- Shrink the first step: Make starting so small that finishing it is the win.
What works better than bribing yourself?
Shrink the task until starting is the win. Not “write the report.” Open the file and type one line. Not “clean the kitchen.” Put away three cups. When the step is that small, finishing it feels good on its own. Nobody had to promise you anything. Is starting the hardest part of your day? Then try this move first. It works the same on a big deadline task. The first step of a tax return is finding one form. Small is not a way to fool yourself. It is the honest size of a start.
- Pick the task you keep putting off.
- Write down the smallest first step you think of.
- If it still feels heavy, cut it in half. Keep cutting.
- Do only that step. If you keep going, good. If you stop, you still started.
Let any treat stay a surprise. Skip the deal you strike ahead of time. Do the work first. Some days, take the walk or get the coffee after. Do it without having promised it. Finished a hard phone call? Step outside because you feel like it, not because you earned it. Both sides of the debate agree on this point. A reward you did not see coming did no harm. Then say plainly what you did. “I opened the file. I wrote the first line.” Praise in words was the other kind that did no harm.
Notice which tasks you only start for a treat. Was it work you used to enjoy? Try tiny steps and no deal for a while. This is a different lever from willpower, too. Tired of being told to try harder? Read why trying harder misses the point.
Make the first step small enough, and finishing it feels good on its own.
Laura Lurns · Learning Success expert
You want your work, and your child’s, to matter for its own sake. Points and prizes get in the way, at your desk and at homework time. A points system makes a child feel like they’re learning. Real mastery makes them feel capable. Focus Foundations is our free book on helping a child settle into focus. Read the whole book free as a PDF.
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