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I’m sure you want to help your child but you may be confused as to what to do. You may feel frustrated that your child has to work so hard, and that both of you miss out on so much, because this takes so much time. You may be worried about your child’s future.

Maybe you’ve been told the only answer is accommodations, but you really don’t want your child to live that way. To always need accommodations to get through life.

Don’t worry, there’s a way out. One day this will just be a “remember when”. There’s a way to help your child through this tough spot, while at the same time embracing their gifts. Yes, even though it may be that all you can see right now are the problems ahead, there are also gifts that come with this. It’s important that we cover both.

Let’s get into it.

These are ten strategies that work together to help your child overcome the challenges of dyslexia. Let’s cover those now. 

The first three strategies involve improving behavior, confidence, and mindset. That’s not always the first place people go. But there are several really important reasons to start there. For those who don’t, well, the success rate will be much lower, it will be far more work, and their children will be affected emotionally. And who wants any of that?

Why improve confidence?

Why? Because, without improving behavior, confidence, and mindset first, your child will resist any help you try to give them. And they can resist hard when they are afraid. It may not seem like it but they are afraid. They just cover that fear with other behaviors. Children can be very obstinate when they are fearful. So if you don’t eliminate the fear first, it will be an uphill battle all the way. Unfortunately, that is what happens most of the time. People jump into a program, or accommodations, or more homework, or tutoring without prepping first.  It’s a recipe for failure.

So instead of going down that path, put these strategies into place to make sure your journey is smooth sailing all the way. Or at least as close to it as it can be. Do everything you can to make sure your child does not resist the help they need. Doing that will ensure your child’s success.

 

Why do children resist help?

Well, the first reason is that anyone with a learning challenge will already be experiencing anxiety. Your child may feel alienated from their peers. They may feel isolated. Especially if they are being sent to remedial classes, or not allowed to play with their friends because they need EXTRA STUDY TIME.

They may feel like they are stupid. They feel different. They feel like giving up. And, on top of that, your child may be being bullied because of their struggle. It happens a lot and it is something to look out for.

Also, look out for diversionary tactics your child may be doing. They often get missed for what they are.

What I mean is that your child may try to distract you from the real problem. They can do this by using a variety of tactics. Things like acting lazy or goofing off. Acting sick, moody, or just plain defiant. Or even just shutting down. These are tactics that kids use to hide their problems. Kids can be quite creative with distractions. So watch for these. These behaviors are signs of other problems. Not the problems themselves. It’s unlikely that they are actually lazy, or want to goof off, or be defiant. Most kids are not actually lazy. I mean, they are kids. Kids are full of energy. But they’ll act lazy because they don’t want to look stupid. They’d much rather look lazy, funny, obstinate, or even like a trouble maker than stupid. So they put on an act. All out of the fear of looking stupid. In reality, kids want to learn. They were born to learn. But they may have given up because they think they can’t.

 

Why Girls Who Struggle in School Get Ignored

Some of these diversionary tactics are more common in boys and others in girls. The tactics that boys use are typically easier to spot. Girls can be a little more sly about it. And that’s a big problem because it leads to them not getting any help.

Commonly boys will act out, become class clowns, or become trouble makers.

Girls usually use the opposite tactics. They are usually even craftier in their tactics to hide their problem. This is because girls generally develop socially much faster than boys. So they are more skilled at hiding a learning challenge. That’s actually a big problem because it causes learning difficulties to go undetected far more often in girls. Then they don’t get the help they need, and that leads to much bigger problems later on. So pay even closer attention to these diversionary tactics commonly used by girls. They are things like, acting sweet or cute. Or becoming a wallflower. Wallflowers get overlooked and then no one suspects that they are struggling. Even being extra helpful in class or around the house can be a tactic. No one would expect the teachers’ pet to be struggling.

Now you know what they say about catching flies with honey or vinegar right?

Notice that the boys usually use vinegar and the girls usually use honey. Which do you think is more effective at hiding the problem? That’s bad. Problems can’t be solved when they are not out in the open.

I’m stressing this because it’s such an important point. Girls very often don’t get the help they need because of it. They are simply overlooked.