Unfortunately, life won’t be perfect, and your baby will face some very imperfect challenges.

A learning disability is one of those challenges that every parent would sacrifice to no end to prevent. But perfect parenting doesn’t prevent learning differences.

There are stages to a parent realizing there might be a problem, and as they occur, parents will go through a process of grieving the perfect academic dreams they once held for their child.

(Note: This absolutely doesn’t mean the child won’t overcome his or her disorder. A realistic goal for many children is to overcome the disorder, but the educational process, at least for now, has just turned more difficult than you once dreamed of.)

Subtle signs 

In most homes, as a baby reaches his or her first major milestones, the parents feel elated. Some come early; some come late. Few parents worry (or should worry) about those initial late milestones, as they quickly come to find that babies don’t grow in factory molds.

In the years before entering formal education, a parent might notice a few things different about their child. For example, maybe their child struggles to recognize how many items are in a group, even when the group is fewer than three. Counting hasn’t yet “clicked” for their child. Or maybe their child is still speaking in one or two word phrases. They might ask a professional’s opinion, or they may choose to wait it out, figuring that the child is still young and has time to catch up.

Even when they seek out a professional, most parents feel little worry at this stage, because even if there’s a slight difference between how their child is developing and others, it is not yet thrown in their face.

Jarring differences

It takes very little time, once the child enters a formal school setting, for both teachers and the student to start recognizing the difference however. The child simply is not keeping up with his or her classmates in a particular area, and his or her teacher is calling home about it. The child also may develop a whole range of behaviors and emotions in reaction to his/her perceived poor learning. Avoidance, anger, frustration, and feelings of being “stupid” are all normal in the undiagnosed child with a learning disability.